'Who Wants Normal? A Disabled Girls' Guide to Life' by Frances Ryan

Another Cracker for the Pedantic Zebra Book Club

Audio version in Substack mobile app

Astute. Wise. Empathetic. There are many words to describe Frances Ryan’s ‘Who Wants Normal? The Disabled Girls’ Guide to Life’ but one outstanding feature is its breadth. It covers clearly and with nuance areas from education, relationships, healthcare to representation - as there isn’t an area of life that disability doesn’t touch. This could be overwhelming, but Ryan skillfully avoids this.

Disability In Vogue

That Ryan was named one of the 25 Women Defining Britain in 2025 by Vogue demonstrates the strength of this book and the impact of her advocacy for disabled people and political commentary in her Guardian column, especially regarding the ultra-crapness of the benefit cuts.

Heart, Precision and Wit

Ryan’s heart is on her sleeve here, telling her story, and the compassion motivating the words. You can feel the hand of friendship and solidarity reaching from the page.

It is this communality of the book that elevates it, from practical tips to the message that one is not alone in the struggle. And this is the great paradox of disability - it affects a huge proportion of the population, yet it receives the least attention, support and massive stigma. Why? It’s likely fear-driven, as it’s the group anyone can join at anytime.

But this doesn’t mean the book is overly noble; it’s humorous, punctured with a dry, laconic and sometimes fruity wit. Few books make me laugh out loud, but this did on numerous occasions!

Yet, there is not only breadth; there is precision. As claims and facts are meticulously backed with studies and references. No one is going to accuse Ryan of speculation as i’s are dotted and t’s are crossed! For example, the 2019 study about body image that shows that those with an invisible disability felt more negatively about themselves than those who had an easily visible disability.

Yet what takes one’s breath away is how it puts under the microscope how brutally society still systemically fails disabled people on every level - from attitudes, to healthcare to welfare. Scapegoats we have been historically, and scapegoats we are today - one can see that epitomised in the political landscape and the austerity of benefit cuts. Ryan gives us clear examples of this demonisation, like how in 2023, the Government disability minister, Laura Trott, said disabled people must “do their duty” and work.

Healthcare Shit Show

I want to zone in on the healthcare chapters, as our community has received ubiquitous discrimination and systemic failure from this sector.

The first thing to say is that ME representation in this book is magnificent. It is peppered throughout, including Ryan’s own experience of persistent health issues after a bout of flu. This is rare, so we would like to thank Frances for doing this so brilliantly.

The second aspect that is done with care is the recognition of the differences that come with acknowledging the social and medical models of disability. Ryan repeatedly avoids claiming that not all issues are solved with accessibility; for some, yes, but there are those who are just too unwell to engage with society.

It will be a shocking chapter for those who have not experienced the blunt end of the medical system. Ryan makes sure to emphasise the dedication and quality of NHS staff in many areas. But this is also an open-heart surgery reveal about how traumatic engaging the health service can be for women with medical conditions not well accepted or understood.

The strength of this chapter is that it validates that you are not the only woman dealing with this SHIT SHOW (Ryan’s emphasis and words!)

There are many standout moments in this chapter, but the “medical Groundhog Day” is particularly noteworthy. Where one is shifted time and again to different health professionals with no one taking responsibility. Likely a strategy as old as time!

The other is when Ryan states, “You don’t forget the morning your medical team refers you to social services…Being too ill to leave the house was seen as non-compliance.” Having also had social services called because both me and my daughter have the same illness, I totally understand the traumatising nature of this and how the severity of illness, especially with post-acute viral infections, is often weaponised.

The pandemic isn’t shied away from either, with Ryan noting the Government's ableist campaign in 2024 to urge parents to send their children into school with ‘cold’ symptoms and even prosecuting families with long-term health problems for truancy.

Girl Rage is Just Fine

Yet, Ryan also makes sure that this book is not just an opportunity for her voice; she takes with her 50 other disabled women, including Jameela Jamil, Fearne Cotton, Emma Barnett and Rosie Jones. This was one of the standout features of the book, as hearing other stories and points of view from women with a wide range of chronic illnesses and circumstances added depth and empathy. If I had one small note, I would have liked to have heard voices of disabled women who weren’t high achievers, but I’m also aware that a book can only fit so much in.

There is a section at the end called wise words and Alice Wong’s note embrasing girl rage is worth repeating:

Try not to feel the need to keep up or be as good as your non-disabled peers. Focus on doing what you love and knowing who you are and what kind of person you want to be in the world. Life can be messy and shitty and its totally okay to be full of rage and pain. Don’t do something because its what others expect. Please yourself first and take the time. You don’t have to follow the typical path. You can find freedom when you let go what you think success, perfection or happiness is supposed to look like. Asking for help and needin help doesn’t mean you are a failure. You have the power whether you realise it or not.

A Power Book for Publishing

This is also a powerful book for disability inclusion in publishing, as it went to nine-way auction with Fig Tree, Penguin offering the winning six-figure sum.

Disability is one of the last bastions of prejudice in publishing, and it can be a notoriously problematic industry for ableism. But there is a growing trend and openness for disability representation. Increasing number of authors who are creatively depicting their own or others’ disabilities on the page. From Leigh Bardugo’s Kaz Breaker in ‘Six of Crows’, who uses a cane like Bardugo does from osteonecrosis. To Samantha Shannon’s devising the magic system in ‘The Bone Season’ from her migraine auras. You can see other examples of disability rep in fiction on Long Covid Advocacy’s sister project @cripademia on IG (eek soft launch - more is coming on this in the next article!)

Goth Girl Autumn Book Club

If you would join the Pedantic Zebra Book Club, for our autumn read (Sept-Dec) we are reading the tense horror novel ‘Awakened’ by Laura Elliott, which has ME representation in! And who is represented by the awesome force for disability inclusion in publishing Portabello Literary.

There are numerous accessible ways you can take part:

• Read or listen along at your own pace.

• Catch up with our Friday takeaway on social media.

• Follow the #pedanticzebra

• Listen or read along, together in spirit, not in person on Friday nights at 8pm. A little something for the diary even if we are housebound or bedbound.

• Watch out for our review

• Join the discussion on goodreads

In Pedantic Zebra tradition, we shall leave the final words to Frances with an extract from the book: